New Focus For the New Year - Not "If Only..." Instead: "What If..."

Have been giving much thought to what would make life more peaceful and enjoyable and keep coming to the idea that the key is to change the focus of the word If...
For the last few years, I have been pretty focused on the If that is paired with Only, as in

If Only...

I beat myself up for so many different things:
If Only I / we would have known sooner that...
If Only I  / we would have _____ ...
If Only I  / we could do this or do that...

If Only just went on and on...

And you know what?

So much of the If Only list consists of things that really were out of my / our control...

So, then, started thinking about the other If...the What If, but not the optimistic What If ...

Generally was thinking of the catastrophic What If...
What if this or that goes wrong...
What if this or that happens...

When you have incredibly difficult, emotionally challenging things that happen, you start lamenting  
If Only...

Then, it works that you try to protect yourself and those around you by trying to outsmart the catastrophic What If...

But really, again, it goes back to really not having much control, which can leave you feeling helpless if this is your focus.

I spent way too much time trying to figure out how to outsmart any and every bit of problem / challenge / trouble that could come along, as my family and I did not want to have any more devastating things happen like some of what we had to deal with in the last few years.

So where does that lead a person?
Where does that lead a couple?
Where does that lead a family?

Well, it led me to what I hope will be the new focus not just for me, but for Dear Hubby, Big Bro, and Little Bro, too...
Viewing If in a new way...having a new focus on the optimistic,  thinking outside the box kind of What If to make life a more balanced, peaceful, joyful place...

Creative Commons Image of a puzzle designed for Thinking Outside the Box.

And going along with it, putting more faith in God...

Acknowledging that I / we do not have all of the answers, that things are still largely out of my / our control...
Being more accepting of the outcomes, whether or not they are the outcomes I  / we had hoped for...

Will work to have the most insightful, most innovative, most balanced, most joyful outcome, but will accept that it is not about how I had hoped and prayed that things will be but how things are.
You have to enjoy the present while keeping hopeful for the future.

Lamenting about things that have come and gone does not do any good...
Worrying about things that may or may not actually come to be does not help either...
Have to just try to be...be present in the moment, enjoying what was good about that particular day...
need to enjoy the simple, day-to-day and relish the small pleasures in life and the time you spend with your family and dear friends. Keep positive and enjoy the wild and sometimes crazy road of life.

You just do your very best and at the end, that is all that you can do...then, the rest is out of your hands.

C'est la vie!

Happy New Year!

Here's hoping that this coming year is full of much love, laughter, happiness, joy, comfort, forgiveness, warmth, compassion, hopefulness and healing.

If you have a new focus for yourself, a New Year's Resolution of sorts, please feel free to share...would love to hear your thoughts and feelings on this topic...